Friday, September 5, 2008

Perverts Unite!

Thinking more about my concerns about being a sexual exhibitionist on-line, here are some thoughts Dan Savage has on the issue. And I agree, for those of us who are sexually satisfied, mature and confortable with our proclivities, why the fuck is the world so uptight about it?

From this week's Savage Love:

Jeff Gradney, a television news reporter in Las Vegas, lost his job after some anonymous douchebag alerted the management at KTNV-TV "Channel 13 Action News" to the fact that Gradney and his girlfriend placed an ad on Craigslist seeking a third. Sexphobia? Definitely. Homophobia? Perhaps: Gradney and his girlfriend were looking for another dude. And for this infraction—which had nothing to do with his job performance—Gradney was fired. So much for "Action News," huh? (People who've had three-ways—or not—are invited to send an outraged e-mail to KTNV-TV's vice president and general manager Jim Prather at jprather@ktnv.com.)

Gradney's dismissal came a week after a pair of nationally ranked college wrestlers—including a 2007 national champion—were booted off the University of Nebraska wrestling team after it emerged that both had jerked off for a porn site. (Solo—nothing gay about those videos, although the website is aimed at gay men.)

Sexphobes will say that Gradney and those college wrestlers got what was coming to 'em. People shouldn't let it all hang out on the interwebs—or spurt out, in the case of the wrestlers—unless they're prepared to lose their jobs, their spots on the team, their shot at being an "American Idol," etc. But with so many people documenting their lives online, and with so many people using the internet as a tool to seek sexual fulfillment, and in our thoroughly exhibitionist culture, one might think that people could picture themselves in Gradney's shoes, or those wrestlers' singlets, and cut 'em a little fucking slack.

If I may tweak a phrase: What happens online really ought to stay online. Your internet personals shouldn't be something that can be used against you by bluenoses at work; if you like to show off and you want to wank for the web, that shouldn't matter to the douchebags who run the NCAA. (Hello, NCAA? Want to generate interest in the sport? Encourage more college wrestlers to make JO videos.) Here's hoping that we soon reach a web-exposure tipping point, a time when everyone has something out there online that's sexually explicit or deeply embarrassing or both. When that blessed day arrives, we'll think twice about firing someone or cutting someone from the team for the crime of letting it all hang out online because, hey, we've got it all hanging out online, too.


The Internet has changed everything. Now anyone can be a self-professed internet star, specializing in whatever unique pasttimes they enjoy. The access to these ideas, images and opinions have spread all over the world and made the enjoyment of these activities bloom, as well as bolstered the self-confidence of so many who thought they were all alone for so long. I do believe, like Dan Savage, that some day all of this will be such a non-issue that no one will even consider your less-than-Victorian-values blog entries or pics posted on Facebook or Myspace when you were in a compromising position reasons to have you fired or kicked off the team or out of school.

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