Tuesday, June 30, 2009

"It's a sex disaster"

I just got back to Vancouver from a trip to the hometown in Manitoba for some family events. I had the fortune of arranging a playdate with a tall Winnipeg drink of water named Tallswimmer. We got together last night at his place. He is busy making lycra clothing in the hopes of starting his new business Frostbite Designs. He has done some shows of his clothing in Montreal and Toronto as well as promoting it in Winnipeg and he plans to do the same in Vancouver, eventually.

After hours of playing in lycra, I got him into one of the full rubber suits I brought with me just for the occasion. He is 6'8" and we managed to squeeze him into one of the suits however he couldn't wear it for too long since it was getting uncomfortable in his shoulders and the top of his head. No matter, we got naked and fucked for hours. I am exhausted today but today satiated. We left the sex room a complete disaster last night into this morning, something he akined to a Sex Disaster. It was a complete blast.

These suits are made of awesome lycra material. I hope Tallswimmer will make me a fullsuit when he gets some new super-thin lycra material in his collection.

Hot times...

Conventiently getting measured for a new suit! ;-D

Monday, June 29, 2009

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Kink Engineering is at it again, creating a unique vacuumization experience that is also symbolic! This spiderweb vacbed would be great for putting someone into as an installation piece at a Halloween party!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Good morning!

A good start to a new week...today, I'm working on removing the crotch zipper from my wrecked STR suit and remodelling it into a crotchless suit...wish me luck; I'm not sure how it's going to end up!

This weekend I also had a long, frank discussion with a very experienced rubber top who is local to Vancouver and is quite interested in teaching me the tricks of rubber bondage, mummification, puppy transformation and the like. We have more conversation and negotiations to discuss but the future is looking bright!

Rubberstud of the Week #60


Friday, June 19, 2009

Dark photo shoot

TuffRuff and I finally got together last night for a photo shoot. We had discussed doing this before I even came to Vancouver for Rubbout in April, however the scheduling did not coincide until now. He has a professional digital camera so as you can see the pics turned out very well! He has a good eye for angles and lighting. I was pretty happy to get some better pictures done than what I could ever do with my camera. I borrowed Tolliver's play sheets and we quickly got into having a fun slippery time!

It was also TuffRuff's first time in the vac-bed and I hadn't been in the vac-bed myself for over a year (always the Top, never the Bottom...), so it was a good session for both of us.

We're planning on getting together again in early July. As much as I'd like to do a legitimate location shoot (abandoned warehouse?), TuffRuff is leaving the country in the middle of July; chances are that we may not get an opportunity to do this again.

There were some casualties though. The shoulder-zip STR suit finally completely gave; the entire ass blew out of the suit. It is such a big rip I don't think it is repairable but I will make an attempt to at least make it wearable again...or convert it into something else. Despite being sad about the mishap, I can only smile when thinking about all the GREAT times I've had in that suit over the past couple of years. My new neck entry Invincible suit gave away along the seams of the arms on each side, but this is something I've seen happen before and will be easily repairable. Once that's done I will at least have one non-full black catsuit for the time being that I can use until I get another one to replace the STR!!!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


A lot of stuff has been going through my mind recently. I think having completed the move now and getting a full sense of what it means to be single again after a long time in a vanilla relationship have really brought a lot of things to the forefront including the re-invention of my identity in a new city, the balance of public vs. private fetish, what I'm looking for in new guys that I meet and what their perspective of me is.

I've had the fortune of talking to a few intelligent guys recently that have shed some light on these issues for me because of their descriptions of their experiences. It has helped me put some of my concerns into perspective, for sure.

I'm not writing this as atonement for my fetishes. They are what they are, and I'm proud of who I am. I'm not apologetic to those other gay guys and the public at large that don't 'get it', or feel that my appreciation of the fetish might be incomplete because I am quite experienced in full enclosure latex coverage and breath control yet haven't had a chance to really explore all the other facets of rubber fetishism that are available to the extent I want to; examples including rubber bondage, or layering, or all the sex acts that are apparently required of you once you put an article of rubber clothing or gear on.

Also, I'm not apologetic because I'm not as hot for leather as I am for latex or lycra. Sure, leather looks sexy on a guy and it's arousing to see a hot guy in leather, but doesn't really get me off personally. It's not skintight and shiny enough for my liking, simple as that.

That being said, I'm just reporting on my observations and feelings, so let's dive in, shall we? I'd appreciate any thoughts, comments any of you would wish to share.

Topic #1: The effect public display in latex has on development of private relationships.

In interesting conversations recently, I've learned that some guys in the scene regard skintight latex, or latex fashion as 'feminine' and therefore are not particularly turned on by latex. Fair enough - that's their opinion. The strange thing is that I never really thought of skintight latex or lycra as being feminine from a fetish perspective. Sure, in the society at large (the North American culture in particular that I'm all-too-familiar with), anything related to 'skintight' is deemed effeminate. That's why speedos have disappeared off the beaches across the continent. That's why tights are associated with male dancers, cyclists and elite-performance athletes (which is why I find the effeminate thing fundamentally odd since these role models are to many the physical epitome of masculinity). There is still a huge fear of anything remotely gay in most of North American society, although this is slowly changing.

However similar lycra and latex are, from a cultural perspective there is a magnitude of difference.

A great thing was said by a guy I was having a conversation with recently. He said:
I gotta say that I really appreciate questioning how much you want to be publically identified as a more-than-casual rubber fetishist. Originally being so public about my fetish has impacted my life in ways that I never expected.

At first, this made me so angry. Boyfriends didn’t drop their partners because they were into boots. Friends didn’t feel nervous when someone talked about piss, not it's just hot or not. But rubber...so many men have told me that they think rubber seems feminine which I understand but also know that this idea misses the point.

What I have decided is that rubber doesn’t turn people off because it is just weird to them. Instead, it actually disturbs and scares them because a rubber fetish is not a contained idea, it is a contagious one. Without needing to know the particulars, someone who isn’t into rubber can sense that it is different than most fetishes.

I found this statement very profound. Rubber is different. It is not like leather or boots or sports gear because it is generally unfamiliar and somehow completely different from all the others. With rubber you are either re-creating reality in a parallel universe, so to speak (e.g., rubber cop uniform, rubber football uniform), or creating something completely fantastical (e.g, blow-up alien outfit, superheroes), or creating something culturally reprehensible (e.g., medical scene, anyone?), something almost all other fetishes can't or don't do.

My reason for beginning this discussion was because I was questioning the way in which I was presenting myself in public as a rubberman. I have attended all the monthly events and the contests in rubber. I am passionate about meeting new guys and eventually hoping to meet someone(s) that I can develop longer-term kink relationships with. I wonder how I am limiting the field of potential suitors because they would rather dismiss me completely because I appear to always be in skintight latex. Although this isn't my life but a fraction of it, I didn't think it was fair that I would be judged as a 24/7 rubberman when I'm really not. I think there are a lot of expectations and prejudgment associated with rubber fetishism that may or may not be true, but I would hope that someone would at least try to get to know me a bit first as a man and a person before dismissing me as an unsuitable match.

This bothered me for a bit, but not really anymore. I have realized that I am defining myself for me and not anyone else. I expect my lovers to have a kinky side to them at a minimum -- to find a guy that was into latex like me would be the ultimate. Therefore, why would I compromise and get into a relationship with someone that didn't have a kinky or experimental streak in them?

I think for some it is more a matter of general perception. One of the guys I was talking to cited an experience he had where he was layering rubber with another guy into rubber while the boyfriend of his playmate watched. All the while he was being watched by the boyfriend with eyes that said, "You aren’t just a pervert, you are a pervert among pervs and you are going to make my boyfriend even more weird." It was at this point that he started to shift his public passion for rubber back into the private realm and stopped going to public events as much.

I had to think about this one for awhile. My ex said before I left that my fetish was out of control and that no one would understand it. I've come to realize that this fetish is very intimidating and threatening for many people. For me, it is just another persona I have, and a harmless one at that; I am not a threatening or intimidating person if you engage me in conversation, but my rubber persona probably does make me unapproachable for many people. You can see this in the bar when you walk through. Lots and lots of looks, but very little interaction. The more rubber you are wearing, the more profound this is.

I am weird, but no more weird than anyone else, it's just that I choose to publicize my weirdness and this makes me vulnerable to attack, scrutiny and ridicule, all of which you have to take in stride so should you choose to be a public fetishist. It comes with the territory, and is exhilarating and horrifying at the same time.

Topic #2: Identity re-invention in a new city.
At first, moving to Vancouver was exhilarating. I could be whomever I wanted to be and present myself to a whole new audience in the way I best saw fit. Once I got here, I began to approach this with some trepidation since I realized that the image of your public self is easy to tarnish and the identity associated to you can stick around for a long time. This is sort of related to Topic #1...I don't want to be stereotyped as being a freak, but I did realize when I decided to 'come out' publicly as a rubberman that this would be the case in some interpretations of who I am.

This is a personal hang-up I am still trying to work out. It is a hang-up many of us growing up in a society that expects you to conform and sanctions against non-conformity have, yet most of us have always known we needed to and wanted to counteract against the rules imposed on us. My mom said that I always "made my life more difficult than it had to be", and in a way, she was/is right. Going against the system that is designed to make you into a particular type of person is difficult, frustrating, draining, even scary sometimes, and requires a helluva lot of courage. But to be true to yourself, no matter how different you are from the expectations put on you is far more important in your life than trying to fit in because you fear judgment and repercussions of others, most of whom have little or no effect on the long-term outcome of your life whatsoever.

In a city, you shouldn't really care about those people that discriminate against you; you should be concerned about the ones that are interested and want to engage you. They are the ones that are curious, the ones that want to learn from you, and the ones that potentially might want to develop a relationship with you because they see the real man behind the mask, so to speak, and like what they see.

Topic #3: Community perspectives on rubber/latex fetishism.
Further to the introduction of Topic #1, there are many different types of gummiphiles out there. As I had originally tried to identify it, I believe there were three generalizations of affectation towards rubber (of course a generalization, most are part of all three groups): the 'pigs': the guys that see it as a means to an end (what you see in most mainstream 'gay fetish porn' these days), where once the kinky sex starts, the rubber is either off or pushed to the side -- rubber = precursor to sex; the 'posers': guys that love latex for the sight and esthetics of it - the ones that love to be seen and see others in it but do not necessarily require it for anything sexual -- rubber = beauty; and the 'rubberists': the ones that desire to achieve a true latex/rubber lifestyle by wearing it at all times possible since the stimulation and joy they get from the material is so encompassing and omni-sensory -- rubber = life.

More discussions have gone on about this topic as well. Some know and I agree that the definition of roles in fetish relationships and sex is very much about power exchange. Some are willing to relinquish it to others in certain situations while others are craving more of it in certain situations. Especially when it comes to Top and Bottom roles in BDSM relationships - the power dichotomy is very apparent. The point of this is that if you are trying to generalize the affectation towards rubber, there are many different ways you could classify the people that are affected by it, especially in the current era when classification into traditional roles really doesn't apply anymore. You see Rubber Tops working on non-rubber Bottoms, various types of rubber Bottoms/Submissives and the like...everyone's a versatile to some extent.

Topic #4: Generational development of standards and etiquette and mentoring.
Many guys have mentioned that since there is a loss of a generation of role models due to the horrible effects of the AIDS crisis in the 80s and 90s, many of today's kinky guys have had to develop their own sub-cultural norms and mores. This has led to many exciting variations on themes, and more experimentation and flexibility in 'roles' than ever before. Gone are the days of the exclusive Top, most noticably because with that identity came very defined role expectations. Not many feel like conforming to particular identities anymore. We're all versatile. How many 100% Top guys are there on the profile/dating sites anymore? Not many. Everyone will take it up the ass for the right guy, or submit to a Master they know is going to teach them amazing things and send them to the moon and back.

Being pigeon-holed into a particular role is not a popular thing to do these days particularly since the advent of the Internet and the fact that so many people are into so many things. I think there is a movement to experiment and find activities and gear that suit you personally versus trying to shape your behaviors and proclivities to what is expected of your 'role'.

On the topic of the Internet, it has also changed the way that pervy men find and develop relationships with each other. It seems increasingly difficult to encourage younger men to support traditional kink communities and activities because they see the Internet as the first line of contact. The 'olden days' of actually going out to a bar or kink party to meet men seems an antiquated idea. The Internet has been a godsend and a curse; we are still social animals and men are still visual animals -- the Internet has made the private world of fetish extremely easy to facilitate, but at the same time has negatively impacted the public world. To pre-Internet old fogies like me that remember what it was like to have to go out in public in order to find what you want, we still crave the social, physical aspect of the hunt and the catch, whereas the younger post-Internet generations are quite satisfied to pre-arrange things without physically meeting the other(s). I might be bold to say that I find this way of approaching physical meetings a bit shallow and possibly a bit dangerous, and I believe there is a fundamental need for fetish events and communities because the need for physical contact is in our DNA, basically. Public fetishism will never completely go away. It will always bubble below the surface in the underground realm, and pray to god it will never become mainstream.

Trust is a big issue for me, and this is part of the reason why I wrote this entry in the first place. I have been having a hard time disassociating the trust relationship I had in a long-term relationship (as dysfunctional as it was) in order to have more casual encounters and contact with the fetish community that does exist in my new home city. I simply do not feel right playing with someone I 1) do not have a physical/mental attraction to, and 2) that I haven't established even a marginal trust relationship with. Maybe this is a good thing, maybe not. I certainly think I will miss a lot of fun opportunities but I also think in the long run I will have more fulfilling relationships with pervy guys who, once the trust is established, I will consider much more respectable mentors or partners.

I guess the short of the long story is that we will all have to discover and interpret this stuff on our own and act on it how we see fit. A lot of the conversation started when I was concerned about how much public display I should do and should feel comfortable with when talking with someone who moved their love of rubber back exclusively into the private realm after many years in the public realm because of how they felt they were being defined by others. I think we can all find a balance of public and private that we can be comfortable with. I think both are important in that it is necessary to continue to remind the public at large that there still are lots of vibrant, burgeoning sexual sub-cultures out there that will not go away and that might entice them into becoming a bit more questioning and critical of their own lives, that everything we deem as 'normal' isn't always what it seems.

The bare truth remains that the consumption of our unique relationships with rubber (and our kinks in general) is still largely a personal, private thing and always will be. But there still also remains a requirement for a public aspect to it as well. The definition of who we are should be important to us because we are the ones that have to live our lives, not anyone else. Our definitions affect our public personas. These public personas are also important not so much because of what others think of us but because we still need to be cognizant that there are others out there looking for guidance and experience and those that have 'been through it already' are the ones we look to for the best advice, guidance and mentoring.

Comments? Please post!

Monday, June 15, 2009


Whew! What a rubbery weekend! I can't recall being in so much rubber as I was this past one in quite a long time.

Friday night was the VML party and the Cube demo. I still have the pressure marks on my back to prove I was in the Cube!
Saturday night was the Mr. Rubber Vancouver contest.
Yesterday I was just horny and spent most of the evening in latex.

Saturday night was a lot of fun. Despite ending the contest as first runner-up, I can respect and appreciate the judges' decisions. Since the event was hosted by Priape, they had an agenda and particular qualities they wanted to see in the winner. I think they made the better selection for the winner once all the numbers were calculated and it was fully understood what they were looking for.

For Priape, the intention of the Mr. Rubber Vancouver position is to foster more growth through association with the leather community here in addition to working more closely with the Seattle fetish groups. Admittedly, I had the 'new guy to town' factor working against me. The winner, Paul, has been active in the Vancouver leather community for years so is obviously well-connected and networked within the community. To date, I have not had a lot of interaction with the leather communities and I know this is something I need to work on.

My fantasy scene with my rubberslave was by far the best fantasy scene entry, but being the ultimate rubberman was not what the judges were looking for.

I was feeling a bit sad about the outcome yesterday but realized it wasn't a personal thing -- I got lots of kudos that I did the better job from a rubber perspective. The judges came with a mandate to find someone who could well represent the community concentrating on local development in multiple ways and a lot of it came down to networks. I have yet to develop mine and I realized that that was the reasoning behind the results. There's always next year! LOL

In the meantime, I can think about how I'm going to get more involved in the Vancouver communities. I will support Paul and the rubber and leather communities here as much as I can and make some good connections over the next year, hopefully. Without the responsibilities of the titleholder, I can also just attend the events, socialize and look pretty!

As much as the exhibitionist in me loves the competition aspect of the rubber contests, I'll probably postpone my sash-quest for awhile and focus on fostering my connection building within the gay sports and fetish communities for the next year. This weekend sapped a lot of energy and took focus away from a lot of other events I ended up missing that I should have been at.

I know there were a lot of pictures taken. With the floodlights on us I couldn't really tell where anything was coming from, but hopefully there will be photos of the competition on various sites soon. I'd love to see what everything looked like from the audience perspective! The bar was packed, and I had a lot of supporters out -- I love you guys!

Rubberstud of the Week #59

Saturday, June 13, 2009


Last night was the Vancouver Men in Leather party at Numbers followed by the vaccube demo at Pumpjack. There were quite a few guys out including all the judges for tonight's contest. Stephane Donaldson, Mr. International Rubber 2009 was also there; it was good to see him again.

I managed to finagle my way into the line to try out the Cube. Mitch, Brian and the guys were very accommodating and three managed to get into the Cube before the end of the evening. Hopefully there will be some pics floating around - I had my hands immobilized at the time!

Tonight the Mr. Rubber Vancouver contest starts at the Pumpjack around 10pm. Interviews start at 9, followed by contestant introductions, the minimal wear/question round, and then the fantasy round before the winner is announced. It's going to be a long evening, but there are now four guys running in the contest, so it's going to be an actual contest, and it's going to be fun! Doug, Ian and I got together last night before Numbers to discuss the plan for the fantasy round tonight. I think it's going to end up looking and being very hot. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Order arrives...

I can't believe how quick it was, but I picked up my Invincible order at the PO yesterday. I think they tried to contact me on Thursday last week but I wasn't home. I put in the order on May 21, so that only took two weeks from Nottingham! Is that even possible? Invincible certainly must've had what I ordered in stock.

The blue/yellow football shorts and v-neck top are cute! I will wear them at one of the events this weekend, not sure if I will wear to the VML party Friday night, or for the formal introductions at the contest on Saturday.

The neck entry black catsuit is fantastic. It is identical to my transparent one but in black. I actually wore it for four hours last night and could've stayed in it for longer; very comfortable.

So for the weekend, I think I'm going to wear my red wrestling suit on Friday night, the blue shorts/shirt for the formal intros, a thong and harness for the minimal round and most likely the Spexter suit for the fantasy round. I will tell you more about my ideas for that one when I get together with my 'helpers' and we get the whole scene figured out!

On a regrettable note, I found out this morning that there were no entrants for the Mr. Rubber Calgary contest last Friday so they cancelled the event. I guess I was really the only one in the city who was into public rubber wearing. Thank god I'm now in a city where there are at least a few more guys into it?!?!? Hopefully that impression of Vancouver holds true. I haven't seen a whole lot of evidence of that to date, but I did hear there were possibly at least two more contestants for Mr. Rubber Vancouver!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Friday, June 5, 2009

Breathplay gone awry?

Thai police: Death of actor David Carradine may be accidental

Fri Jun 5, 12:29 PM
By Michael Casey, The Associated Press

BANGKOK - The body of American actor David Carradine, best known for the 1970s TV series "Kung Fu," was found in a hotel room closet with a rope tied to his neck and genitals, and his death may have been caused by accidental suffocation, Thai police said Friday.

The 72-year-old actor's body was discovered Thursday in his luxury suite at Bangkok's Swissotel Nai Lert Park Hotel. Police initially said they suspected suicide, though Carradine's associates had questioned that theory and authorities later said no suicide note was found in his room.

Police Lt. Gen. Worapong Chewprecha told reporters that Carradine was found with a rope tied around his genitals and another rope around his neck.

"The two ropes were tied together," he said. "It is unclear whether he committed suicide or not or he died of suffocation or heart failure."

Thai police completed an autopsy on Carradine on Friday. But Police Col. Somprasong Yenthuam, superintendent of the Lumpini police station, which is handling the case, said results would not be ready for at least three weeks because the cause of death was unclear. He called the time lag "normal."

Dr. Nanthana Sirisap, director of Chulalongkorn Hospital's Autopsy Center, told reporters that the autopsy was conducted because of the "unusual circumstances surrounding Carradine's death," but did not elaborate.

The body was later removed from the hospital to an undisclosed location by U.S. Embassy representatives while preparations were being made for its repatriation to the United States.

Police Lt. Teerapop Luanseng had said Thursday that Carradine's body was found "naked, hanging in a closet," and that police at the time suspected suicide.

But one of Carradine's managers dismissed the theory.

"All we can say is, we know David would never have committed suicide," said Tiffany Smith of Binder & Associates, his management company. "We're just waiting for them to finish the investigation and find out what really happened. He really appreciated everything life has to give ... and that's not something David would ever do to himself."

Pornthip Rojanasunand, director of Thailand's Central Institute of Forensic Science, said Carradine may have died attempting a sex act known as auto-erotic asphyxiation - cutting off oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal.

The practice is said to result in a form of giddiness and euphoria - similar to alcohol or drug intoxication - that enhances the sexual experience.

"If you hang yourself by the neck, you don't need so much pressure to kill yourself. Those who get highly sexually aroused tend to forget this fact," Pornthip said.

Carradine had flown to Thailand last week and began work on a film titled "Stretch" two days before his death, Smith said. He had several other projects lined up after the action film, which was being directed by Charles De Meaux.

Carradine was in good spirits when he left the U.S. for Thailand on May 29 to work on "Stretch," Smith said.

"David was excited to do it and excited to be a part of it," she said by phone from Beverly Hills.

Filming began Tuesday, she said, adding that the crew was devastated by Carradine's death and did not wish to speak publicly about it for the time being.

Monica Donati, a spokesman for the French film company MK2, which was making "Stretch," said in statement from Paris that the film crew in Bangkok was "clearly shocked" by Carradine's death but would finish shooting. Carradine only had three more days of filming left in Bangkok, she said.

Aurelio Giraudo, the hotel's general manager, said Carradine checked into the hotel May 31 and he last saw him June 3. He said Carradine chatted with staff and even played piano a few nights in the lobby as well as flute which the "guests really enjoyed."

"I was a fan. I had a very nice talk with him when he checked in," Giraudo told The Associated Press. "He was very much a person full of life. I mentioned to him that I had seen (the movie) "Crank" with my family and that was the last smile he gave me."

Giraudo said a chambermaid discovered Carradine's body, adding that she knocked and entered after there was no response. Police arrived shortly thereafter.

Somprasong said there was no evidence there was anyone else in the room at the time of Carradine's death.

Carradine, a martial arts practitioner himself, was best known for the U.S. TV series "Kung Fu," which aired in 1972-75. He played Kwai Chang Caine, an orphan who was raised by Shaolin monks and fled China after killing the emperor's nephew in retaliation for the murder of his kung fu master.

Carradine also appeared in more than 100 feature films with such directors as Martin Scorsese, Ingmar Bergman and Hal Ashby.

He returned to the top in recent years as the title character in Quentin Tarantino's two-part saga "Kill Bill." Bill, the worldly father figure of a pack of crack assassins, was a shadowy presence in 2003's "Kill Bill - Vol. 1." In that film, one of Bill's former assassins (Uma Thurman) begins a vengeful rampage against her old associates, including Bill.

RIP David Carradine. It's unfortunate that you went out this way because everyone will try to cover this up, much the same way that Michael Hutchence's death was. More evidence for you breathplayers out there to ensure you are NOT PLAYING BY YOURSELF...things can go wrong very quickly when dealing with your oxygen supply, even if you have a backup plan.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Guyz in gear

It's been awhile since I've linked to Guyzingear or XTube videos. Here are a few hot ones:

Monday, June 1, 2009