A Divide

A conversation with another latex afficionado this week delved into the situation of the divide between the straight and gay fetish crowds that seems to occur in most North American cities if not all over the world. We tried to make sense of why the two groups (if you want to categorize) tend to run their own events with very little cross-over. We both came from interesting perspectives: he, identifying bisexual; me, gay, obviously. Both of us have a strong affinity towards total coverage and latex fashion, which is what initially drew him to me since he saw that I saw things 'differently' than most other gay men.

We discussed many of the flavors of rubber fetishism and could not come to a definitive conclusion on the question of the evening other than the fact that gay guys aren't particularly interested in seeing women in latex and will obviously go to events where other gay guys are in the hopes of getting laid. Gay men who look at latex as an accessory to sex are (IMO) hopelessly boring in rubber, wearing only minimalistic black outfits sometimes with accents of blue, yellow and red (how daring!). The latex as an enhancement of the exposed male body with a few hints of basic color are all you'll basically see. The straight crowd on the other hand, handles all of this differently. The men, who generally don't or won't wear latex at all, only go to these events to follow the women who love to wear latex for its visibility, uniqueness, sensuality, and fashion possibilities. You won't find a lot of straight guys wearing latex...because it's too, um, feminine? gay?...and a lot of men that do identify as bisexual. The vast majority are there to ogle the women, simply put. I won't say that some straight men won't make the effort to dress up for an event, it's just that it's typically not latex.

Can these two crowds ever find commonality? It's possible the reasons they're into latex are too distinctive to be reconciled. Of course, at the very big fetish events and Balls, yes, there seems to be a mingling of the minds, however this may be for the fact that these events are SO big and SO pivotal, it is a priority that anyone and everyone that is into fetish attend these events at least once in their lives as if it were a pilgrimage. But what about the local events? The gays and the straights both say they are inclusive, yet there is no real effort made to bridge the divide between themselves and the events they almost always hold separate from each other. The poor bisexuals once again are in the grey area in between, not being totally accepted by either camp.

There is this differentiation between the sexual and sensual aspects of the fetish that need to be looked at. Most men as mentioned earlier see latex as an accessory or tease as part of the precursor to raw sex or as being too feminine. Women see it as a way to stand and model and be noticed while enjoying the sensuality of the materials they are wearing. They do not see it as precursor to sex -- many women get home and take the latex off. Many gay men prefer to have sex fully enclosed in rubber. It's all very complex, but I think you get my drift...

I've felt affinity between the camps yet not felt completely in one or the other as well. I will show up at gay rubber parties in color (heaven forfend!), and feel like a weirdo because I'm not wearing a shade of black latex made with easy access to my ass. I do really like the fashion aspects and the variety of design possibilities with latex - something for which I guess I have an affinity more with the straight women who like to wear it and have enjoyed my time at straight fetish parties for the most part other than knowing I will be going home alone. I will wear black for play parties and at home while having rubber sex mostly because that is what is expected (and logically, easier to keep clean (or at least have the appearance of being so...)).

I honestly think I enjoy the parties on both sides since they placate different facets of my fetish.

This is why I have been having a hard time creating content for the LoveLustLatex blog. It is primarily targeted to the straight crowd; as the token gay man, there is a lack of material out there in the gay scene that I feel would interest a cohort of people mostly interested in fashion, design and color. That being said, I have a perfect opportunity to start a dialog between the two camps to see if they can work together to create synergy to focus on strengthening the fetish community. The question is, will anyone listen? Does anyone really care? Does anyone have any thoughts?