I've recently recalled memories back to my early childhood when my gay nerd sensibilities were rampant - playing piano, reading LOTS of books, writing stories and drawing. I loved to draw.
I drew lots of men. A lot of superhero types. Always in skintight suits...
I remember one series of fantasies I wrote into a story that I also illustrated, inspired by some pictures of scuba divers and Hazmat suits I had found in the encyclopedia (yes, I was that nerdy). The story went something like there was some sort of chemical spill and the technicians had to go in to investigate the accident site. Their chemical hazmat suits were made of impermeable thin latex - skintight, bright yellow and had all the accessories attached including the boots, gloves and masks and included s.c.b.a's on the technicians' backs and a chemical analysis lab in a suitcase-sized carry case. The group had to approach this site from quite a few miles away which required going through ponds and mud to get there. This was a very exciting suit that I had drawn and the adventure of wearing it and moving towards a target in that fashion was a great fantasy for me.
That damn scuba diving picture series in the encyclopedia were definitely a start in the fetish, I recall - I looked at it quite often and fantasized about wearing those frogman suits.
Another fantasy which I had actually started writing a rough screenplay about was a space adventure with two Han Solo-type cargo runners who in one scene had to land on a desert planet à la Dune and wear water retention suits, but unlike the Dune ones which were sort of tight and black, the ones in my screenplay were white, skintight (tight tight tight!) latex. Very hot.
Do you remember the made-for-TV movie series 'V'? There was a short-lived book series that came out soon after the movies that I also collected. One book described a micro-thin fullbody sheath that the aliens could wear so they wouldn't get infected from the bacteria the Resistance had introduced into the ecosystem of the Earth. It was complete coverage - the membrane was thin enough that air could move through it, but nothing bigger. When the wearer breathed, the air would seethe through the material. I thought this was very hot! Subsequently, I wrote another fantasy screenplay utilizing this for what I had hoped would be an episode of the 'V' TV series. In this scene, a bunch of these suits are found in an abandoned alien hideaway and are then taken to a lab for investigation. A group of scientists study the suits and even try them on.
I could probably write these ideas into a great rubber fetishist/porn movie today! HA!
Hmmm....I wish I still had those stories somewhere. I went through a guilt phase in my mid-teens, I think due to not understanding who I was and why I had these bizarre sexual attractions. Rubber, condoms, rubber gloves, breathplay, anal play, lycra, pantyhose, speedos, ballet tights -- I truly thought I must be crazy to need to play in all these 'unnatural' ways. The shame of being so different from everyone else I knew was very intense at times. In venting my frustrations, one day I destroyed a whole bunch of my stories, personal drawings and commercial pictures I had collected over the years of beautiful men in skintight clothing, whether from catalogs or magazines. Remember, it was the 80s, so I had a lot of material to work with.
Now that I think of it, those stories may have ended up going through this unfortunate demise.
Today, I think that was a big mistake to destroy all of those things. That collection of stories and pictures was such a big part of my formative years and defined what I am today as a rubberist, fetishist, gay man, and sexual being.
I'd like to see those pictures again for memories' sake, but alas......
I am much better now! ;-)
I truly appreciate being a person that has the opportunity to explore my sexuality and fetishism as far as I can, and I want to continue. I know I am part of a large albeit exclusive club of rubberists and lycra fetishists, and I'm pretty excited to see where things are going! I'd like to take advantage of this special opportunity to the fullest. I think it's my life's calling to explore my rubberism, if there is such a thing...we'll see where it goes.
No comments:
Post a Comment