Dilemma?

A few days ago I was approached by a sexy Aussie Leather Master about considering becoming a 24/7 rubber submissive for him. I had the pleasure of getting a phone call from him yesterday.

I asked him numerous questions about such things as his living arrangements, expectations, financial situation, and search success. He obliged but I found his interest a bit reserved. I assumed that if he was the Master with the list of criteria, he'd be the one asking the majority of the questions?

No matter. We had a decent conversation, I asked him to email me and I would be able to put more cogent thoughts on paper, in addition to more phone calls if I so desired. It's good that the door of opportunity is still open; given the apparent challenge to find what he's looking for, I would say that is a good idea and an opportunity for me to ponder the offer some more.

He wants a live-in 24/7 submissive that will spend a majority of the time in the house, only leaving when Master chaperones, effectively living a dependent submissive rubber bondage lifestyle. He would assume all financial support and provisioning of resources. He even talked of the possibility of building the family some day, if more willing quality candidates could be found.

One would basically have to cut all ties to their old life and assume a new persona. It's a tall order for someone to commit to, thus the global search for some guy to fit the bill.

I must admit his offer has piqued my interest. As much as I am happy with my life as it is, to be able to live out a fantasy is an opportunity not many people get to have. I always thought this type of arrangement was the material of story telling, something I never dreamed could be a possibility. Is that why I'm actually considering it? Given the missed opportunities in my life to date, if I turned it down it would it be another regrettable moment in my life?

There are aspects of his offer that I find very appealling: a sexy, perverted and caring Master, the 24/7 bondage gimp and houseboy position, rubber, leather and toys to my heart's content, Sydney, Australia; hell, even the idea of not having to work, commute, make money anymore and be a permanent kept man-sub is a plus.

However the loss of my individuality, perhaps even my identity, the lack of friends and social circles of my own, being restricted in the hobbies and sports that define a part of me, saying goodbye to my partner, friends, family, home and nation...is this stuff I can easily give up? He wants a true devoted committed submissive to live with him...now that I'm faced with an actual proposition, I am staggered by the scenarios playing out in my head. This isn't simply a choice that can be made with a 'let's see what happens' attitude.

I'm not sure if I have the wherewithal to transform into something completely new - a reversal from a butterfly to a caterpillar metaphor would be apt, perhaps? What if Master isn't what I expect? What if I'm not what he expects? What if he's cruel? What if it's not cracked up to be? What if it's the most amazing adventure I've ever taken in my life?

So many questions. I hope Master wants to continue to communicate with me for awhile. I want to find out so much more about Him and what he has to offer...I would definitely need a LOT of stimulation of all kinds if he is expecting me as a sub to live effectively house-bound. I can't believe I'm even considering this; maybe my present situation of regretting missed opportunities is affecting the rational side of my brain. There would be nothing I'd like more than to be offered a conditional, term-limited test run of the arrangement. Is that fair? It sounds like an all-or-nothing offer to me.

I haven't heard back from Master today. Maybe he sensed the hesitancy in my voice and has moved on. It might be a bit of a relief that he has made the decision for me. At any rate, if he could promise me that he would keep me like this for the rest of my life:

I will seriously consider the offer.