Another Letter....

I received another message from the same guy, lots of food for thought here too. I am happy to share our conversation here as well.

Hi Reid,

Some times in life you get bigger rewards than money following a passion and doing what truly makes you happy. I Dj in ***** and have for about 13 yrs now. I've seen the music and club scene change so quickly over this period with other fellow dj colleagues adapting the music styles and preferences just to maintain gigs and exposure.

For me its always been about the style and music I truly love deep down still being booked for events to represent what was old school deep house / progressive vocal is a sign being appreciated for what is still a passion and not a hobby or job - thats the reward in its self for me!

Theres a few rubber guys in ******* but generally of and elder age and body type that I don't feel would be any connection. + it's generally all related around sexy and not exploring the other sides to the fetish. Bad gear doesn't help as well.

I guess its also hard to establish a good scene here if the fetish store don't stock much gear so a lot of the time we have to order online taking a guess what the gear will be like and fit.

thats why strolling across your site really helps us isolated rubber boys develop the confidence in exploring our desires that little bit deeper.

I must admit i've made some bad purchases with gear believing the gear looks hot in the images yet when it arrives not so good + takes for ever to arrive in the post yet shipping is so expensive.

Who are the better suppliers out there from your experience, Do you find similar issues in Canada or can quite easily order gear?

*****

Well said, ******. I think things are similar here in Vancouver to *****. I don't have many guys to rubber play with though fortunately there are a couple. I find most of my rubber play comes when I travel to rubber weekend events or down to Seattle where I have some regular guys I play with. Otherwise, it is when out-of-towners come to visit! I also find a lot of guys that say they're into rubber really aren't; they are more into bondage and don't really care whether it's leather, rubber or lycra on their bodies as long as they are incapacitated.

Rubber has the additional challenge of being prohibitively expensive for most people, which is why I think you don't see a lot of guys in it in their 20s, and only in their mid-30s when they have the finances and the sexual confidence do you see them appear on the scene. That being said, I do know a few rubber kinksters in their 20s and marvel at their confidence...and I'm a bit envious (and proud of them at the same time!) that they are so 'far ahead of the curve' in their experiences.

It just seems that a lot of the younger generations aren't that interested in fetish as they used to be, something which I think might be attributed to the fact their sexuality is so much more normalized and accepted now; when we were younger we still needed to keep so many secrets and wallow in shame and guilt; my theory is that some of that manifested as fetishes and kink. This is why a lot of the communities seem to be getting older and not replenishing their ranks. However, this may only be an illusion. There are a lot of young kinky guys out there, they are just expressing their kinks in a more general way (some gay guys prefer the straight kink events), or in unique fetishes (like rubber animal roleplay, something which is certainly growing rapidly in popularity).

I think we've all been through the trial-and-error aspect of building our wardrobes; I have probably wrecked, given away or sold more latex than I currently own. It's just the way the fetish is: very expensive, sometimes frustrating with a big learning curve, but all so worth it!

Fortunately we have a gay store chain in Canada called Priape that carry lots of leather and some rubber. There is another fetish store in town that actually carry an impressive amount of rubber for men as well though they cater much more to the straight crowd than the gay crowd. Priape exclusively carries Polymorphe rubber from Montreal, which is a favorite of mine. Instead of importing latex sheeting for 4D or Radical in Europe, they generate their own which I find to be softer and more supple than the European stuff. I do own some Polymorphe gear, however most of my latex comes from the UK or Germany. I have had good experience with lots of retailers, I'm still partial to Skintightrubber and Invincible though I have more recently bought from Libidex and Regulation London. I am planning in the not-to-far future to delve into the products from Blackstyle, Blackstore, Eurocatsuits, Rubaddiction, Simon O, and Fantastic Rubber, which have all come highly recommended.

Most significantly, I find it most exciting to work with local designers. There are certainly some in ******, though they may be elusive to find. In addition to being able to size you precisely and that you can to be involved in the building process from start to finish, you can also create something completely unique. Most designers love the challenge of designing something new. I have a local guy who used to work for MOR Rubber who does all my repairs and with whom I'm going to design a couple of unique suits this spring.

In Canada there are lots of issues with customs and taxes when importing orders, though it is sometimes hit-and-miss. Ironically, even though we have all these trade agreements with the U.S., every order there is hit with customs, duty and taxes. I find that a lot of my orders from the U.K. just show up without any additional charges which is why I prefer to order from there...some of that may be due to the items in the shipment; I have had rubber leggings, catsuits, shirts show up from the U.K. with no duty or taxes, but a sleepsack showed up from STR years ago and I ended up paying $150 just to get it since it was being delivered from a shipping company and the claimed value of the shipment was almost $1000. I try to avoid places that use private shipping/courier companies to deliver cross border - even though they deliver to your door, they end up being very expensive, plus they have a lot of extra charges the regular mail service doesn't have. Regular good ol' Canada Post and UK Royal Mail area just as dependable IMO and deliver to your closest mail outlet, which isn't too bad.

As for scene, I'm of the belief that if you don't like the scene, create the party yourself. I come from a long line of community organizers, I guess it's just bred into me. There are a lot of people that lament nothing is going on but won't do anything about it. That's why I've embraced organizing Rubbout so much; it just seemed to be my calling when considering moving to Vancouver. I can effectively imagine what I want the weekend to look like and execute accordingly, and it sort of ends up how I originally envisioned it, which is pretty cool. As a rubber event planner, I have the fortune of meeting other event coordinators from all over the world, get special invitations to other events and have a relatively recognizable face in the scene now. It's a great network within which to share ideas of what works and what doesn't work. All of these things help when it comes to getting things my way! LOL

I also have no shame when it comes to wearing rubber. I pretty much wear it to any kink or gay event I can where I can get away with it. Sometimes I feel that I end up being very unapproachable by most guys because I am wearing it, which can be a lonely experience sometimes, but I love it too much not to promote it in the hopes it sparks something in a pervy brain or two along the way. I also am fortunate to have a great friend network, largely in the leather and kink community, who love me as I am and support my endeavors to promote rubber locally and internationally. So, as you said in your note, sometimes the benefits are way beyond the financial, as they should be I guess. I'm also one who likes to stick to my principles as much as I possibly can and I'm definitely a person that lives my life out and proud. I don't think there is much I am afraid to disclose about my preferences or perversions, though there are limits - I won't ever tell my mom about the great fisting session I had last week, though she does now I wear and promote latex and gay rubber events.

Reid