Living In Latex

I slipped into the Spexter fullsuit on Monday evening for a spell. I was relaxed enough after Mr. P zipped me in that I laid down in bed and actually feel asleep for an hour or so. It was just so comfortable and relaxing to have my whole body carressed by a latex cocoon. In a lying position there was no strain in any areas, just the sensation of rubber over my entire body.

I've been able to sleep in rubber many times before though I typically don't make a habit of it because I prefer to actually sleep naked. Rubber is far too stimulating for me to actually get a good, long sleep.

I'm fascinated by guys' attraction to latex. After many years and innumerable conversations, our affection for rubber is as varied as the styles we prefer. Even the stories of how we got into it are similar yet not similar enough that it ends up everyone's story is slightly different. I want to delve into my beginnings a bit more now. I'm sure some of you will see a lot of similarities with your own experiences.

Even before I hit puberty, I was putting stuff up my bum and suffocating myself. I can't really recall WHY I was doing these things, just that after some experimentation over time I found these activities felt really good and got me really turned on. I liked the feeling of tight plastic (bread bags, drycleaning bags, swim caps, whatever I could get my paws onto), and eventually pantyhose, rubber gloves and condoms over my head, the feeling of the oxygen levels depleting, the pressure on my face, the moisture and heat building up inside the bag. I put small things up my butt, sometimes insertable items and sometimes things that I would put in a condom and stuff all the way in, to retrieve after I orgasmed. This was all fun, though I had great feelings of guilt because I thought I was the only one who had ever done such horrific perverted things that I was going to go to hell for, and no one could ever find out.

I started wearing my mom's pantyhose, tights, and bathing suits in layers on the sly and LOVED the sensation of tight material all over my body. Eventually I bought my own pantyhose and fashioned full-body suits out of the pairs and would spend many hours masturbating while wearing head-to-toe pantyhose. Luckily spandex was coming into style for men in the late 80's when I was in high school and since I was on the track and field team, I bought a couple pairs of shorts, and eventually several pairs of tights that I would wear for racing and training. It was so nerve-wracking trying to get everything in control while being so excited about it at the same time!!

I had a very good-looking friend in my class who I ran with. He showed an affinity for trying tights out so one day I lent him a pair of mine. We ran but he refused to take his tear-away pants off and just run in tights out of embarrassment, presumably.  I subtly pleaded with him to try it, but he wouldn't.  I was so disappointed.

At one point, my stash of pantyhose and latex items were discovered by my mother. I had to confront my parents about this and some other depression issues I was having at the time (which were mostly related to the fact of being in the closet, but not really understanding what that meant or why I felt so different from everyone else). This didn't go very well, they basically wanted to pretend that it never happened and I was told to 'never do this stuff again'.  I withdrew even further from being honest with myself about this stuff and these events probably added to the delay of my coming out by a few more years, though my attraction to spandex and latex only grew and thusly I grew more frustrated with myself and my perverted attractions.

At college I had a sizeable collection of spandex gear that I would typically masturbate in behind locked doors, and would wear layered under clothes while running in the cooler seasons or simply under my clothes going to class. Cyclically, I would feel guilty about my attractions and get angry enough that I would either give some of my stuff away or simply throw it out out of frustration, including all the pictures I had clipped out and saved of gorgeous men in spandex, whether it be from Olympics coverage or the International Male catalogs, and even the ones I had drawn.  I was actually a pretty decent illustrator back then, and had drawn and colored lots of pictures of men wearing skintight lycra and latex outfits.  They are all gone now, unfortunately.

It was basically when I was out of college that Internet access was becoming affordably available to schlubs like me, and it was then that I discovered there was a whole world of men out there with similar attractions and perversions, and an entire industry of rubber and spandex manufacturers catering almost exclusively to the fetish market.  I couldn't believe it, initially. I wasn't alone!  I wasn't the only one!  If only I had known this in high school; that there were others like me, that having entire suits made of latex and spandex were possible, nay, available at that moment, and they had been for some time already, it would've made my life so much less lonely and messed up!

So, here we are today. I'm a fairly decently self-actualized rubberman, not particularly phased by how other people perceive me as long as they let me live my lifestyle in peace, my mother is aware of my gummiphilic tendencies and I'm still curious where this all came from.

Why the attraction to breathplay? Why the need to be enveloped in skintight materials, typically the tighter the better? I know other rubbermen that came upon their affection for rubber through other means, for example, rubber boots/waders, bondage, gasmasks, military gear or wet suits on divers. Mine came about sort of as a merging evolutionary thing. Wetsuits on divers, the outfits in science fiction when I was a kid, Frank Augustyn dancing on the CBC Arts on the weekend, and Patrick Duffy in 'The Man From Atlantis' are all very clear in my mind today. I was already breathcontrolling with latex and wearing skintight full suit spandex, wasn't wearing encapsulating latex the next logical step?

I've thought a lot over the years about this need to be enveloped. Why this desire for body coverage? Is is just something I have a sensory propensity for?  There certainly is something to be said for the feeling of constriction and encapsulation....it definitely is an 'acquired taste'...something some people find irresistible while being completely abhorrent for others.  For example, I have a hard time putting Mr. P in latex of any kind because he doesn't like constriction on his body at all.  He even gags with something tight around his neck, something as innocent as a tie or a turtleneck sweater.  We are certainly opposites when it comes to that (as I pull out my posture collar to wear once again!).  I think there is a sensory development aspect to it; we certainly aren't all wired the same.  But where does the mental and psychological aspect of it come from?  How do we come to fetishize certain things but not others?  Why do some people not fetishize at all, while others fetishize so much?  Why do men fetishize more than women?

I have stated in the past that I think some people simply have a propensity/vulnerability/sensitivity in their genetic makeup to experiment, to delve into the ideas that make them different than other people, and they only need a trigger event to take them over the edge into a whole new realm of discovery.  A lot of people don't ever make the connections, some people do very early and some do much later.

Is it something as Freudian-based as a desire to return to the comfort and security of the womb? That would explain the rubberworm and balloon bondage.  Or maybe that we weren't handled, hugged, or bundled up enough as infants? That would explain the bondage and constricted coverage.  We'll probably never know.  I do know other rubbermen who have the same desires as me and we all similarly seem to have an uncontrollable desire for full coverage, wanting so badly the sensory-overload of latex or spandex stretching across our entire bodies, the bondage sensation of straining against it, or the feeling of being removed and separated from the environment around us via a full rubber outfit, adding breathing apparatus or layers of latex to give us the feeling that we are isolated from our surroundings. Scuba diving, with its separate air source certainly plays into this fetish for many guys too, and this is another conduit that some guys fall into the rubber fetish too.

It's all so fascinating and mind-boggling, I really like trying to figure it out!  If anyone wants to provide some context or evidence to the how or why, I'd love to hear from you.

...and with that, back to my rubber slumber...:)