Starting Out

I received this message in my Inbox a week or so ago, and it brought back SO many memories of my first steps into fetish, latex and bondage oh so many years ago. I wrote back a lengthy response to the person who sent this to me, I hope it answers some of his questions. I thought I would post it here for those that might get some information out of it. Those of us that have been around for awhile have an obligation to inform and educate our newbie brothers and sisters!

Hi *!

Thanks for the msg...you have so many questions!

First of all I would start with something small and work to bigger things, much like anything else sexually.  Do a bunch of research online about purchasing, dressing and wearing rubber gear.  I would start with a small purchase, something like a pair of shorts or a top to see if you like the feeling of wearing rubber gear for periods of time, and maybe most importantly whether you have allergies to latex!

I guess I should start with a distinction between rubber and latex.  Latex is the natural material extracted from rubber trees, treated and run into sheets that are purchased by latex tailors to either cut and piece together much like standard material is sewn into clothing except that instead of using thread to sew pieces together, latex tailors use a special glue.  The other option is to buy molded latex items which have no seams and are created by dipping molds into liquid latex.  I suggest staying with seamed/tailored items as they can be custom fit, customizable and if they rip can be fixed.  Molded items once broken are typically not repairable.  As much as a seamless look is hot, it is more risky.

Rubber is made from petrochemicals.  Much like tires on a car, these items are made by running chemicals through base chemicals derived from petroleum.  Rubbers like neoprene are made this way (wetsuit material).  In many cases these are more durable but a lot thicker than latex and are tailored much the same way as standard clothes with seams and thread although there are some that use glue or new technologies to fuse seams together, etc.

The term 'rubber' is used interchangeably to describe both latex and rubber items, although there is a distinction.  I try to make the distinction when talking about clothing. 

Latex is what you are looking for.  The sheets used to make latex clothing can range in thickness from 0.2mm (thin and stretchy, not very strong) to over 1mm (very thick, not very stretchy, but very strong).

What thickness you choose depends largely on what your using your latex clothing for.  If you're using it for social occasions and not stressing the latex out very much you may opt for thinner latex as it is stretchier and will hug the body a lot more.  It feels and looks a lot more encapsulating than the thicker stuff.  But if you are looking for something more durable for play sessions you may want something thicker.  Most standard gauge clothing ranges from .4-.5mm, play gear more likely around .55-.65mm or thicker.

Many masks, gloves, socks, etc are molded because it is difficult to create these items in a seamed fashion.  Typically they will be thicker latex than standard to give them durability.  You can also buy masks and hoods in thinner seamed styles with zippers and/or laces to tighten and secure them on the head, etc.

You have to keep in mind that latex is a natural material therefore will degrade over time.  It doesn't like direct sunlight, heat or oil-based lubricants or fluids.  This means no oil-based lubes, and even the oil from your skin will break down latex over time.  This is why cleaning the latex after wearing it is so important.  Most people use mild soaps to clean the latex and rinse it, store it in dark cool places to extend the life of the latex.  You will find that eventually your favorite gear will distintegrate, but you can get 10+ years of wear out of gear you look after.  You will notice that the suppleness of the latex will change over time as the material ages.  Black is standard color for latex because it hides imperfections in the material and stains better; lighter latex colors and transparent colors will likely discolor over time as the latex degrades due to use and oxidation.

Inflatable latex gear is made much the same way, except double layers of seamed and glued latex allow for inflation of the bladder created by the two layers of latex. 

Latex gear costs a lot of money so be prepared to shell out a lot of cash if you like what you're getting into and want to grow your arsenal of gear and clothing. The variety of gear and clothing you can buy online or get custom made is practically limited only by your imagination.

I like putting skintight latex clothing on with silicone- or water-based lubes as you can just slip into what you are putting on.  For looser items, you can use talcum powder.  I use billiards powder, something neutral without any scents or additives.

The easiest way to take latex off is in the shower.  After a night out you can run water under your suit or gear and it will practically slough off your body.  If you don't have access to a shower, get someone to help you take stuff off carefully so not to rip anything.  Sharp fingernails, rings, etc will rip latex easily if you grab it from the wrong direction.

Also keep in mind that if you wear latex in public, you're going to get a lot of people wanting to touch it on you.  Make sure to clean dirty spots and places people touch with oily/dirty hands after wear.  People also love to grab a piece of latex and snap it....try to avoid this as much as possible and inform people that that sort of behavior can rip or tear a very expensive item of clothing!  The thinner the latex, the more the risk, of course.

Like I said, you might want to start purchasing with something small but if you get an opportunity to try something more full-body encapsulating like a catsuit, sleepsack, etc try it out and see if the tight restricting feeling is for you or not.  Most people into skintight clothing like spandex really enjoy getting into latex because it is similar but a different feeling, plus the fact latex is impermeable means that you quickly either like the wet clammy feeling of sitting in your own sweat and juices or you don't!  You might also want to try hoods, masks, gasmasks to see if you like the feeling of something restricting covering your face/head.

As for meeting people, well this might be the area I can't really help you with.  Some people are comfortable meeting and chatting with people online, some prefer to play in rubber alone at home or with their partner, others like to go out in latex, show off, and meet people in that fashion, either at fetish events, bars, or parties.  Whatever your comfort level with yourself, going out in latex takes comfort to a new level.  You have to be very comfortable with your body and your sexuality to pull off wearing latex in public.  You don't have to be a god, but you have to be comfortable in your own skin to wear another one over it, so to speak, that shows off EVERYTHING.  Latex is very sexy, very arousing and grabs a lot of attention, but you have to keep in mind that it isn't for everyone, not everyone's going to understand the how and why of why you might be wearing it in public, so you have to be ready to answer a lot of questions, accept a lot of compliments and be ready to face some criticism too.

The Internet has changed the face of fetish both for the good and the bad.  There are dozens of personal and social sites now dedicated to lovers of all types of fetish gear.  There are even fetish groups on Facebook now, but my faves for latex for the gay boys are Recon, Rubberzone, and Gearfetish.  For the pansexual crowd I've found one of the best is Fetlife, although I know there are many many others dedicated to the female latex goddess/straight male crowd.  Some are pay sites, others are free, some are more focused on photography and video, others are just focused on profiles.  This is a good medium to meet like-minded individuals from all over the world and find people with very similar gear/fetish turn-ons.

It might take you some time to get comfortable wearing latex in general.  Taking it out in public is another step, meeting others into it in person is another step, playing with others into rubber and bondage is yet another.  It is quite an evolutionary journey and if you put a bit of planning and forethought into your adventures you'll find it to be very exciting, mind-expanding and educational.

It is very daunting to go to a fetish event on your own; I've done it before and it is very nerve-wracking if you don't know anyone, but the fetish crowd in general is very welcoming, friendly and open-minded.  Don't be discouraged if you have the misfortune to meet some losers; as with every crowd there are always a few lurking around.  There are lots of great people in the fetish community and many will be more than willing to help you out with questions or suggestions for you.

As for trust in a fetish/bondage environment, yes there is definitely an element of knowing the people you're playing with.  It is like any relationship, you only divulge and participate in as much as you're comfortable with.  If you find yourself in a playful social environment or setting up a play session with someone you have an acquaintancy with, don't feel you need to do things you're not comfortable with.  You have every right to refuse to do something you're not comfortable with.  Everything with fetish takes exposure, familiarity, practice and comfort to get good at so don't rush yourself or expect things to work out like your fantasies the first time.  It has taken me many many years to get to the level of comfort I am at now in what I wear, what I do, and who I do it with.  It has taken me years to build the network of friends I have in the fetish community as well.

Start chatting with people online, if you have an opportunity to visit a fetish store do that, and ask a lot of questions, don't feel ashamed or guilty.  You will only learn if you ask questions; people can't read minds as much as we might want them to. If you have an opportunity to try on latex before you buy it, even better.  If your only option is to buy online, find a vendor that is helpful in their communications with you (will answer all of your crazy questions) and seems very concerned about finding the perfect sizing of items for you.  You will be amazed what you will learn and you will be amazed at how helpful people who have been in the fetish community for some time actually are.  The key is communication, communication, communication!

Best of luck to you!  Enjoy the journey.  It's a very special one; you may feel sort of lonely right now, but once you get to know people who are pervy like you, you will quickly realize that there are a lot of us out there!

Reid

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 8:38 AM, ****** wrote:
Hi,

I'm sending you this message because I need some help and i think you might be able to give me some advice. I feel that your fetish/bondage interests are very similar to mine, but the problem is that I am a total newbie and I have no idea where to start.

First though, let me introduce myself. I am male in his early 20s, bisexual and I've known for a long time that I have a fetish for rubber and an interest in bondage. Things like latex catsuits and vacuum beds certainly turn me on. I also have an interest in inflatables (inflatable suits, inflatable hoods and especially inflatable sleepsacks).

I have always been fairly embarassed by my fetish, because it's not something a lot of people have. Recently though I found some people in my area who are about my age and have similar interests, and I've finally been able to talk about it.

I have to admit that I have never, ever tried anything rubbery. I have no gear at all, and I don't even know anyone who has gear. These few people I mentioned before have the same interests, but haven't done anything with it either. I suppose these people also want to pursue their fetish interests but are stuck with the same questions as I am.

So, I'm in need for a bit of advice on how you handle all this. I am interested in playing alone, but I'd also like to meet these people and play with them. Do you have anything to recommend for total beginners as far as gear goes? I've been looking at STR (I like their surfsuits and catsuits). What should I certainly know about rubber gear before I start? As far as bondage goes, what gear is needed for some light bondage? How does one tie up people properly? Heck, what exactly is the difference between rubber and latex? How do you handle people with similar interests? How do you approach them with the idea of wanting to play around? How do you know you can trust people enough for bondage?

My mind is pretty much filled with questions and doubts, but those are the questions that pop up in my head right now. I think these questions will only be truly answered when I actually get to try all this stuff.

I hope my message isn't bothering you too much. It's just that I'd love to get my feet wet and I am rather unsure where to start. There are so many possibilities, and I am feeling quite overwhelmed to be honest.

Thanks a lot in advance for your help.

*