The Latest

Had a second great fisting session with DS last night. We got together for the first time on May 18 at his place. He is very experienced, so it is nice just to be able to get right 'at it' and not have to fuck around with a bunch of prep, interruptions, or guidance. We worked quite a bit on depth both on the 18th and last night, though I ended up fucking him for a considerably larger portion of the evening last night. Even Mr. P jumped in that hole for awhile!

I had him in a bit of rubber on the 18th, we just played naked last night, but I'm hoping to put him in a bit more rubber as we progress forward. He seemed mildly curious and interested the last time; honestly it was just nice to get naked and fuck.

We are talking about making this a regular thing; DS is looking for playmates that don't have to be under the influence of a bunch of party favours in order to fist...which is something I have no problem with...and I think he's just looking for someone who's not flaky, sketchy, yet local. So yeah, our first two sessions have been pretty amazing, I'm looking forward to many more! I like the idea of us getting together regularly on Tuesday or Thursday evenings every couple weeks or so when he has Wednesdays and Fridays off. We've actually known each other for quite awhile and I knew that he was into fisting but I just never thought he was interested in me. As he is a recovering addict, he is adamant not to get into any sessions where drugs are even a consideration (other than maybe a bit of pot and a beer), and he assumed that I was a hard-core, no-holds-barred party favour player. When we finally had a conversation about it, we discovered that both of our assumptions were wrong...and here we are, enjoying putting our paws up each others' holes, sober and focused.

As for that assumption that I'm a party favour player...that I thought that this was a reputation I had bothered me a bit, but honestly after I analyzed it, I probably do have a reputation. There is no doubt that I like to drink and smoke pot excessively...occasionally, and, well, I do like my buzzed-out blissful rubber-encapsulated sling sessions from time to time as well, but in reality I play a lot more sober than I do high or drunk. I know my limits. I know what I need to keep as rewards for good behaviour or output. I know that drinking too much or taking too many drugs takes away from the sex experience I'm having - the sensations, the immediacy. I've never gotten the concept of using numbing agents or reducing sensitivity somehow as that takes away from what you're experiencing.

Party favours do allow for endurance though, I'll admit that.....I like to totally let go once in a awhile, a couple times a month if I'm lucky, otherwise I do not need drugs to fist or get into a heavy rubber session. Pot, poppers and beer are the best relaxants out there anyways, who needs all the other after-effects (or lack of up-front effects)? That and the fact you need days to recover from a extended late night fuck and fist session with heavy use of party favours.

Given all the shit that goes on in my life and all the responsibilities and support I have to provide all...the...time, I don't think letting loose once in awhile is unjustified. And for those who judge me, fuck right off.

I've tried tina a few times, it's definitely not my drug. I get none of the good effects other than being awake for days and all of the bad after-effects. In that light, I try to avoid this drug like the plague. I do like to play on mdma from time to time, it makes things light, fuzzy and fun. I used to play on ketamine often but the drug quality has gotten so weak and the prices so high it's at the point of being unjustifiable now, regrettably. Ghb is another drug that does nothing for me, so I tend to avoid it. Some guys swear by Ghb, I still have yet to get any of these reported effects everyone's raving about. I have always been known to be a terrible metabolizer of drugs ingested orally; I figure the reason that G doesn't work for me is that I most likely need a superdose twice of what most guys need in order to get any effects...something I won't do. The other thing about G is its chemical composition - given it's basically like ingesting bleach, I am not particularly interested in that superdose angle for that reason either.

I'll just stick to a light dusting of booze, poppers, and pot, thanks....they've never steered me wrong, and their effects are predictable and consistent! Good ol' faithfuls!

So this weekend, we have the Vancouver Rubbermen June Moon meet going on on Saturday afternoon. I have decided to stay in the city while Mr. P is going up to Shadow Falls again this weekend. So, that means I'm trying to fill up my dance card for the weekend! haha

Friday night I am possibly hosting a downtown couple for an introduction to rubber and gear session. They have been a bit elusive in what exactly they are looking for....honestly I don't think they know for sure, so I'm going to slip them into some encapsulating rubber, introduce them to some toys and e-stim, and see where things go. The bottom is apparently the kinky one so I intend to get him in the sling and let his boyfriend go to pound town on him, and then see where I can fit in ;)

Saturday I am planning to spend the day with Wardog; finally a day for us to spend together. He is going to help me with the VRM meet setup and demos; I don't know what the plan is for the evening - whether he wants to hang out, have sex, cuddle, spend the night and/or a combination of any of these. It's okay any way as long as we're spending time together, I haven't been able to give him much attention since Tuchus died and I'm feeling pretty bad about it. It's also a great progression that he's now getting weekends off - I really hope this translates into better quality time for the two/three of us.
If he doesn't plan to spend the evening with me, I've also talked to Pup Figaro about hanging out with him and Pup Rusty that night; I guess we'll see what happens.

Sunday I have an afternoon play date with Ovrload. We've played a few times before; he's into rubber and just got a new outfit, we have had fisting and fucking fun before, so we're going to play a bit of dress up and do some gut rearranging in the afternoon. We are going to have the time to get into Deep Play - we're both looking forward to it!

If anything falls through (I am leery that Friday's going to work out), I have to get online to reconnect with a few other guys I've been chatting up recently for some good fucking and fisting. The big hot Australian with big hands....the handsome young Irishman with a big cock....you know, on and on. Still guys I want to have on my dance card in the future.

Given the lack of action up at Shadow Falls the past three weekends, I'm also trying to recruit some more energetic guys to come up camping with us too. This past weekend a contingent of pups were up tenting at Shadow Falls. I had expected, given the conversations, that they were all going to be in the mood to play, and I even was inspired to take some rubber up because one of the guys I have been wanting to get with was up there and I know he's into rubber. At any rate, everyone was lame, pup nothing happened, and I ended up traipsing around the campground on Saturday night by myself. I put on my gloves and new Invincible anatomical hood (I love the feeling of actually putting my ears in place inside the molded ears on the hood!), grabbed a bottle of poppers and lay in the grass in the main field stargazing. Later on after finishing off Mr. P I put some big toys in myself. Not quite the end to the evening I was expecting. This is why I need to recruit some more fun guys to come up for the weekends!!!

I have been feeling some disappointment in some of my good friends lately; they are being excessively flaky, boring and in some cases, a lot of emotional and physical work to deal with. I am kinda getting at the end of my patience with this behaviour. We're grown men and should be able to face life as such. I'm trying to be open-minded: people go through phases, people have shit going on in their lives I'm not aware about, and it may be some crabbiness about quitting smoking (two weeks!), shit in my life, blah blah blah that is effecting my worldview. However I am getting tired of my incessant role of Facilitator, Instigator, Dominator. I am tired of being the one who is looked at to plan, initiate, execute.....All. The. Time. It's exhausting and frankly feels pretty thankless. For this reason I am working on cultivating some new friendships and relationships with men that are more independent, more self-actualized, more confident. Typically this means more 'mature' and more 'seasoned' as well, if you get my drift. I'm done with the incessant snowflake sensitivity training, it's really fucking irritating me.

Now to get this final VRM meet over for the summer. I think I need a break.