I had balked on agreeing to host my own bloody birthday party in the hopes someone last minute would agree to host a party, however this didn't materialize, therefore we were sending out NYE party invitations on December 29th, and then getting the gears from people for being so short notice! Fuck, I can never win!
It was great to have new and old friends help me celebrate my birthday and New Years, in particular I was very happy RodCubYvr and M were able to spend the evening with us on their whirlwind week in Western Canada/Seattle; and it was great news when they told us they are planning to move back to Edmonton from Halifax. It's not quite Vancouver, but Edmonton means at least we'll see them once in awhile!
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I was feeling a bit down over the holidays, partly due to the upcoming milestone birthday of 45, a lot of stuff creeping up on me due to my procrastination (with my professional certification exam deadline hanging over my head), the soul destruction that is my job, lamentation about some weight gain I'm dealing with due to inactivity post-accident and the pain and inconvenience I still have to deal with almost six months on, the insurance/lawyer crap going on with my accident, not being able to see any of my family in over a year, the fact that money's tight and getting tighter and yet I had to fork a shitload out to host a dinner and a party (this frustrated me more than depressed me tbh), the special Xmas surprise of mandatory replacement of the tyres on the minivan, plus money to Mr. P to cover his Vegas trip. Regardless, it was a great break from work, and the days that I didn't have play dates set up (or I was cancelled on for whatever reason; a lot of guys are either flu-ey or suffering from acute Vancouveritis these days), I spent a lot of time sleeping and/or watching movies cuddling with Mr. P, which I won't complain about at all.
Having Wardog stay with me the week while Mr. P was gone and also having him over for most of the week between Christmas and New Year's was very welcome; our relationship has advanced due to some conversations and changes going on in our lives. We got lots of opportunities to fuck and cuddle for the five nights he stayed over while Mr. P was in Vegas. It seems that due to the personal issues Wardog's Sir is having at home, he has told Wardog that he wants to release him to me...at least that's how Wardog has described it. It's hard to explain...?!
I guess I've never felt I could ever get overly emotionally invested in my relationship with Wardog due to the fact his heart belongs to Sir; he is my favorite and most frequent fuckbud by far and we have mind-blowing sex every time we get together, and most certainly we have grown close emotionally, BUT....he wasn't mine.
And then there's the recent discovery that he's not as allergic to latex as we all previously thought.
I don't know what the future holds but I know for a fact we've been growing closer in 2016 and he's been spending more and more time with Mr. P with me. We professed our feelings to each other over the week in December...Wardog and I talked about this a lot, and I think we're going to work on our relationship with these new realities, see a bit more of each other and then evaluate where things go.
On the one hand, I'm not sure if I want to delve more deeply into my emotional relationship with Wardog right now. I enjoy my connections with the guys I play, socialize, and have sex with and I'm very satisfied with that at the moment, and honestly there are other relationships I want to nurture and mature with some of the other men in my life too; though I love Wardog, he is young, he is a lot of work, he has issues I'm not so sure I want to deal with. As the Daddy to a boy, do I want to assume that responsibility given all the responsibilities on my plate already?
But he is such a good kid and such a wonderful soul and we have such a honest and genuine time together. And so do he and Mr. P. Aggravatingly, he is very sensitive and amazingly thoughtful in some ways, and completely not thoughtful in others. But he's young, right? So erratic and unorganized. It drives me crazy sometimes.
And I wonder if I judge him too harshly. If history's any indication, this seems to be what I do with the ones that become closest to me.
Also under consideration is the idea that now if I do actually have some elbow room to throw some service training techniques in Wardog's direction, I can finally get him working on the things that I think need improvement in him. He's young, he's kinda lost, he needs guidance, love, support.....man, I have a lot of stuff to think about.
At least for now, and at least from a terminology standpoint, I have a 'husband' with Mr P and now a 'boy' in Wardog. And then there are the others, the men I regularly and not-so-regularly play in rubber and fist with. They all require a juggling act.
Is it bad that I feel so hesitant about it? Part of my blueness over the holidays was selfish; I feel I give in all forms of my being: I give and give and give some more, and feel I am not getting enough back in return. I know it's in my head, and I do get some great things back, but maybe my priorities are evolving once again. And then again, maybe it's just the fateful role I was meant to fulfill. It's always been there, I've always been the giver of my all, so I am starting to doubt it will ever change.....just like having my birthday on a crappy day for birthdays. Give up trying to change things and just accept your lot in life....
Stepping back, I am a very lucky man indeed, and this realization after my birthday has lifted my spirits. I am absorbing the idea that I have a husband and best friend who is a wonderful companion that loves me and I him, and additionally I have a great boy that loves me, wants to be with me, has chosen me to grow a daddy-boy relationship with, and loves to fuck and fist with me!
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Whew, I'm done with that. Writing it down helps. Wow, free therapy! LOL
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Playwise, of course I got all my quality time in with Mr. P and Wardog over the holidays, and another special get together was with my old playbud HungryBull. We hadn't gotten together for a long time, I was glad to host him for a couple hours on Dec 23rd afternoon after work. He's such a sexy fuck and was hungry for dick so I fucked him hard. It was really amazing!
I did get to have a great play night with my old rubber fist bud Almazmol on Dec. 29. It had been quite awhile since we played; additionally since Xivenge™ had cancelled on me on Dec 28, I asked him to come over and join us. Consequently, while Almazmol spent a good part of the evening working on my ass in the sling, Xivenge™ did a terrific job as photographer and 'lube-refresher/popper provider' throughout the evening! Imagine that as a skill in LinkedIn....
I got to wear my red E7 fist suit again (happily!) and got three ass sessions in the sling, one with the Blackstyle gas mask on, one with a Polymorphe hood, tubing and condom for breathplay, and the third with a blackout Polymorphe hood and the head harness applied nice and tight by Xivenge™! It was a great time with the boys! Thanks for the pics, Xivenge™.
So, after that I didn't get a lot of play in until New Year's Day when Wardog and I had our annual fist and fuck day together - highly recommended for those who can get involved next year ;)
The highlight of the day was actually getting Wardog into latex! He's allergic to a helluva lot of things, and in the past had tried to don latex with his Sir, to the disappointment of all as he broke out in rash afterwards. We've avoided putting him in latex ever since, however he really wanted to try it out on New Year's Day, so......I put him in Polymorphe gear - tank top and pants; he didn't rash and he fucking loved it! I think we are on a new path together as I'm a bit more emboldened now to try some different rubber combinations on him.
So, obviously as I had him preening in black latex, I took the opportunity to get myself in head-to-toe black erotic tightness for my turns in the sling. We spent the day fisting and fucking in the sling; as part of my birthday gift from him most of the attention was focused on my ass, to my delight!
Two rubber fist play sessions in a week! Not too shabby! Aaannnd now that Wardog can at least wear some rubber, I see rubber play becoming a lot more regular in the future....
Pics of my 'new' rubber fuckboy!
Rubber Rubber Rubber....Wardog is coming over tonight; tomorrow is the Vancouver Rubbermen Puppy New Year! Meet and Try On Rubber event. More pics to come!
Also, there are at least one great party a month coming up in the months leading up to April. I've bought tickets for BULGE on Jan 14, Growlr ROUGH HOUSE on Feb 11, Testostérone GEAR on Mar 4 (and the monthly VRM meet that same day), and of course, RUBBOUT 26 weekend starting on Mar 31! Perversion galore!
Even though the money situation sucks right now, I have an announcement to make. This is meant to be a reward for completing my professional certification by Rubbout, and also for baring down in my personal life; drinking less, going out less to save money, getting back into exercising regularly, keeping nights out to Fridays and Saturdays only and then ultimately only one of them (Friday night will be Play Night, (right?), Saturday will be Social Night (see the events list above), and most of all, QUITTING SMOKING. It's a big list.
So, finally the big announcement: I'm going to Manchester Rubbermen 8 in April! I got my vacation request approved from work on Tuesday, and I purchased my flight to London yesterday. I'm flying April 14/15 and returning April 30!
The plan at the moment is to stay with KinkArch in London, travel and hotel with him in Manchester for MRM8 weekend, then on Monday take the train with Rubberedscotsguy and Rubbreh10 to Edinburgh; spend 4 days in the Scottish capital region, then catch a Virgin Express back to London on April 28, spend a couple more evenings in London with KinkArch, then fly back to Vancouver on April 30. How fucking excited am I?!?!!? VERY!!! Much more to come....
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