Resource Management

Rubberasylum has put up a great post on how to manage your playmates and filter out the 'dimwits, parasites, and dead fish', so to speak. It is true you have to prove your worthiness to an experienced player in order to get an invitation back to a playroom or dungeon, AND you have to validate that the crap you put in your profiles is something you can back up with actions and behaviors supporting what you've said. Some of us have so many requests, we don't have time for bullshit. And there is nothing more annoying than exaggeration. I don't think many men seriously think of that stuff when they're trying to chat up experienced guys.

I've been going through a lot of challenging personal stuff the past three months and haven't had the time or energy to focus on training a bunch of inexperienced players that have to borrow gear, have no ideas or fantasies of their own, and expect me to have all of this figured out, organized and set up with only a day or two of notice. It doesn't reflect well on the requestors in my opinion.

I do appreciate the occasional note from guys that I've played with before and would like to invite back saying that they're still around and interested, but I grow weary of the ones I haven't met that come across as boasters or have to have everything explained to them, the ones that back out of a first meeting at the last minute and the ones I have played with before that can't remember anything that happened the last time we were together or last time we chatted. Even more so the ones that are asking me to set up non-rubber/bondage scenes for them or set up a playdate with guys that I don't know well or that I'm not interested in playing with myself. Do your own legwork, guys! Annoying! And not very sexy.

You've got to realize that experienced players are just that, experienced. We come into these situations with expectations as well. We've been there, done that. Sometimes we don't want to go there again. Sometimes we want to do stuff we know you won't be interested in due to your inexperience. Sometimes we're happily impressed but I'd say more often we come out disappointed. I realize there's an obligation to teach new dogs old tricks so that they can grow and develop into remarkable kinksters, but I also think it's okay to be selective on who you choose and be able base that selection on whatever criteria you see fit. If I thought otherwise, I'd open up a public dungeon, hire some staff and actually make some money at this.

I have felt guilt about continuing to chat with the guys I have intended to eventually play with but haven't felt like doing anything with over the past few months. It's unfortunately situational. I feel like I've been coming across as a flake for showing interest in playing during the summer then not committing to an actual meeting (and we all know too well how common this is in gay hookup cyberspace...but that's not me). Rubberasylum's post reminded me that I am in control of the situation, and if I don't feel like managing my resources at a particular time, I don't have to oblige anyone. I'm the one with the gear and the playspace. I'm the one with the personal issues. These guys will still be around and game to go in the future if they're serious about what they're talking about, proclaiming what they know and/or want to do. So there, I feel better now.

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Meanwhile, I got the MIR contestant application photocopies done last night and all the competition outfits are drip-drying in the shower with a nice fresh coat of Vivishine. I can't believe I'm going to be in Chicago in 48 hours. I am stressed and overwhelmed a bit, but it will all be great! My challenge is going to be what to take for play, once again, in addition to the competition stuff and still manage to keep the luggage under 50 lbs. I am thinking this time that in addition to the outfits, the accessories and the boots, if I have room for a few masks or whatever that'll be great, but I'm going to leave the heavy items (straightjacket, sleepsack) at home this time. That might even give me a little extra space for bringing home a few new items! I can only hope that staying in the sold-out host hotel will mean there is at least some gear floating around. What will I be looking for in particular at the MIR Market? New hoods and new wrist restraints. I'm sure there will be other stuff that that will float my boat, but until then...

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On something else unrelated...I found this yesterday online. Is this awesome or what? Imagine the possibilities! I want one! :)