Cumpilation

Here is a nifty compilation of a large variety of rubber play scenes by Rubberto. It's a great summary of all things rubber, BC, hazmat and perverted!

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Fetish and Relationships

I've had the opportunity to talk to several fellow 'gearheads' over the past few weeks and gained a lot of insight into how people negotiate their fetish desires with their need to maintain a long term relationship with a partner that does not share their fetish outlook or intensity for creative play scenarios. There seems to be a common pattern to how the evolution of the fetish is shaped by the relationship as much as the relationship is shaped by the dialog created by the fetish.

Thank you very much guys, for taking the time to thoughtfully write me back and engage in conversation with me....

What I've learned most importantly is that communication is essential from both parties to negotiate a common ground that both partners can be satisfied with. Each partner needs to express their understanding of the terms and desired involvement coming from the other partner. There can be no assumption as to what the other partner may be thinking -- what their response to a particular fetish is, what they conceive their future with their gear-playing partner to end up looking like, to what degree they want to participate, conversations about opening the relationship, or negotiating boundaries of actions outside the relationship. Also as it was pointed out, there needs to be an understanding on both parts of what 'play' is and whether both partners are comfortable with the boundaries that have been set.

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I've been realizing that my perceptions of how things could or should be are completely different than my boyfriend; I think we're entering an impasse in our relationship where these conversations are going to be inevitable. Our definitions of what 'sex' is, what 'flirting' is, are not very similar, and at the moment it is causing a lot of problems. I do realize that these fetishes are all fundamentally about one thing - sex, and that this is an affront to him, a guy who thinks that monogamy and a 'nuclear family' life are what his destiny is.

I'm understanding more and more that that is a life that I don't want -- of course, I want a man to my own in a loving relationship, but I also need someone adventurous and experimental and flirty and playful - just like I want to be, given the chance. I don't want the big house and two dogs like so many other gay couples I know....BOOORRRRIIIINNNNGGGGG.

That being said, I respect my boyfriend, and we've been together far too long to let something like this - which is supposed to be fun and sexy - be the thing that breaks us up.

Now I have a new conundrum. A couple of my boy friends and I have decided to go to IML in Chicago in May. I have told the boyfriend about it and that he's welcome to come, but that it's been designated something of a 'grrllz weekend' with a dumping of the boyfriends for four days. I have no intention of doing anything other than prance around in rubber all weekend and maybe flirt a little bit. But I'm starting to realize how this makes him feel, finally, I think.

As was discussed, it seems likely that coming to terms with what I define play as and what he defines play as, if we can come to some sort of agreable point there, will be the evolution toward an eventual open relationship. I have other friends that have been in relationships for longer than we have that are at this point -- in fact more than a few. But we're gay; it shouldn't be a big deal, right?

Right now, I don't feel very comfortable about that but I will have to be honest with myself before I can be honest with him. I need to think about this some more. I am going to go to Chicago though. I'm going with some good friends and we'll have fun. It's not like I'm heading there by myself or with someone I just met on the Internet.

But maybe most of all, I feel like I've lied to him. I did make a promise, once upon a time, that whenever I went out in rubber I would let him know in advance so that he could plan to come out as well. We're doing that and I figure it's because he wants to monitor things. When we do go out, I know that he scares a lot of the guys away that want to come up and 'talk'. He's offended by the fact that I really don't think it's a big deal that guys come up to me when I'm in rubber. I know that he's got some self-confidence issues and that my desire to jiggle around in rubber in public is not helping the situation. That's why I don't want him to come to Chicago - if he's there, he won't have a good time and neither will I.

I think we've got a lot of talking to do. The funny thing is, I think most couples where one partner is a practicing pervert and the other isn't go through these situations. It's inevitable. They have to come to some sort of agreement. If it's been done before, it can be done again, so there's hope for us as well.

Processed Product Innuendo?

A catchphrase from Hot Doug's, a Chicago-based Midwest chain celebrated for its imaginative sausages and its fries cooked in rendered duck fat. Urgh.

Yeah - okay, the innuendo is a little laboured here, but how often do you hear the term, "encased meats"? Whenever I hear a term referring to tubular beef/pork/mysterious whatever products, I just have to snicker a little bit.

Planning ahead

Hey guys - I have a question. I may be a little ahead of myself, but for those of you that don't know, I have a hot pink Invincible catsuit that I won on eBay a month or so ago. I am trying my darnedest to figure out some costumes that can be made around it. Who would've thought hot pink would be such a hard color to work with????? ;-)

Can anyone think of some creative ideas on how to build a Valentine's Day costume around it? I'm thinking 'Kinky Cupid', but in my mind that should be more of a red and white getup. Maybe I should just prance around the parties in simple hot pink with quiver, bow, arrows and wings! LOL

Any inspirational thoughts?

The Changing of the Guard

Have you ever wondered why the bastions of leathermen at leather events seems to have waned over the years and why these previously exclusive leathermen clubs now seem to tolerate a lot more rubbermen and lycrabois than they used to?

I've had this conversation with a few people which have brought up some interesting points.

In the beginning (I guess that would be the 60s and 70s), gay men didn't have the internet to meet each other. Hell, they didn't really even have magazines or papers - they had the bars, baths, parks, and clubs. I could see that if everyone was out and about and seeing everyone else out and about that eventually, at least in the bigger cities, specialized fetish clubs and groups would develop as more people experimented and fetish items became more available on the market.

In today's world, gay is not really an issue anymore. Most of the younger generations don't see it as a definition at all and as a result you see a lot fewer young gay people getting involved in traditional gay organizations, clubs, sports teams and the like. Being gay is just not the identity definition it used to be. The 'cultural profile' of these generations also lends credence to the observation that this isn't just an exclusively gay issue. I even see it in my 'straight' sports clubs - it has been a daunting task, nearly impossible in fact, to attract and retain members in the 20-30 age range, never mind trying to pass the onus of responsibility on to them as those of us that have been running things for the past ten years start to move on to other phases of our lives.

As well, the internet has brought the world to our fingertips. Why go out to a club to meet another rubberboi when you can have him show up at your doorstep? I think a lot of people have become 'introverted' (and by that I mean simply having issue to publicly display oneself in fetish gear - you get to avoid potential public humiliation) simply because it seems to be the path of least resistance and the most safety in order to get that hot rubber/leather/PVC/lycraman into your bed. What happened to the thrill of the hunt? A primitive, archaic pursuit for modern men, I guess.

In addition to that, the number of retailers in fetishwear has exploded in the past ten years. You can't find that unique, freaky item you're looking for in your traditional local store or mailorder? Guaranteed, someone is selling it in the new media - online or on eBay.

So, you see that a lot of the visible leather and (to a certain extent) rubbermen are in their late 30s, 40s, and 50s -- and many of these are the old guard, the ones that still identify gay/fetish community in much the same paradigm it has been for decades. But I think these men are part of a dying breed. And not in a bad way - things are simply evolving into something else. I do worry about the long-term viability of some things gay that I do enjoy, particularly sporting clubs and large events like the Gay Games and OutGames because they are all based on the old paradigm of exclusivity, even though they don't all outwardly say so.

Fetish parties and such won't disappear, but I don't think as many people are attending them because there isn't as much need to find someone of your own taste through direct contact anymore. A few clicks of the mouse, and a hot kinky perv is on your doorstep.

In order to attract a new generation of kinky men to fetish parties and clubs, the old leather guard has been forced to allow some alternative members in.

What are all the younger men doing? Well, as I recall, in my early 20s it was all about lycra. It is cheap and lasts practically forever. It was those lower barriers to entry into lycra fetish that make the younger cohorts the most ardent wearers of the material, at least in public - you see a lot more younger men into this scene.

Back in my day, I thought - no, I knew - I was the only one with such a messed up affection for anything tight and shiny. If I had only had the internet back then...fetishism outside the large metros back then was a very lonely place.

Maybe it's simply visibility, but I also think lycra fetishism a lot more affordable for others. The range of lycra materials, designs and patterns over the past ten years is certainly not the limited range I had to chose from as a young man, however in those days men wore a lot more lycra in public than they do today, and they would make men's styles out of just as outrageous colors and designs as the women's. Yes, I did own neon colored lycra clothes back in the day, (regrettably! LOL). Why the loss of public lycra? Well, I've jumped into that topic before, coming to the conclusion that is partly because of the fattening up of our society and the private shame and insecurity most men feel about their bodies as a consequence that have occurred in society over the past 20 years, as well as the confusion of the masculine ideal in our gender-blended modern society that have caused the regrettable demise of lycra on men in public. Real men don't wear lycra, do they? They are starting to again, somewhat, thanks to UnderArmour and Adidas, among others.

Like gateway drugs, I think lycra is a gateway fetish too!

The public vs. private realm is something that needs to be considered. Anyone can wear their secret fetish items behind their closed curtains at home, but not so many of those will venture out into public spaces wearing the same thing, and those public figures end up being the stereotype for the particular fetish.

There's the cultural stigma attached to the materials themselves: lycra is associated with athleticism, strength, superheroes, fitness, aesthetics/beautiful bodies, with possibility some femininity thrown in - moreso now than 15 years ago? One of my favorite fetishes, male ballet dancers, is still considered a very effeminate career choice and might always be that way. Leather is associated with durability, masculinity and primalness. It was the first material we wore coming out of the African savannahs, after all (well, maybe the furries could argue that fur came first, but I digress), and is associated with motorcycles, rock stars, and cowboys.

PVC is a 'poor man's latex', in my opinion, thus is more popular among the younger crowds just starting out on the road to perversion. It is actually more like the bridge between the three - it's got aspects of rubber, leather and lycra all rolled into one, hot, sweaty package.

But then how do you explain rubbermen? Most men in this realm have no hangups about their bodies -- many are not in the best shape, but love showing off themselves anyways. Shiny black rubber will make anyone look good, er, better.

Where does rubber lie? Somewhere in the middle. Not completely natural, not completely artificial - a mixture of both. Not completely masculine but also not completely feminine. Not necessarily associated to athletics or blatant protection. Latex provides a bit of everything - it provides protection from water, chemicals, even air and has its origins in fitted clothing because before the advent of our chemical revolution, it was the only natural material we had that could 'stretch like that'.

The men that are attracted to it are also very mixed. Some see the industrial aspects of rubber and the occupations related to it - firemen, divers, military - as very masculine images and that is what is attractive to them. Why do you think there is a big market for rubber police uniforms and military outfits?

At the other end of the rubber spectrum is the unnatural, bizarre, immersive, otherworldly look that can be achieved. Don't like the faults of your hairy, pimply, scarred natural body? Slip on a smooth, shiny, second skin. Don't even want to be human for the evening? You can look alien or like something from below the Earth's surface. That versatility is something that is very attractive about latex to many people.

It is also at this end of the spectrum where I think most resistance to rubber fetish comes from. I think most uninspired people can handle the sight of a men in full leather or lycra, but a bizarre male character in rubber or PVC might be just too over the top. Maybe it's because latex has always been the least visible of these three fetish materials traditionally? Latex fetishism and availability has basically exploded (like my catsuit) in the past decade, at least outside of Europe.

For those wanting to experiment in fetish, once again, latex comes somewhere in the middle. It's not quite as expensive as leather, but both of those are ridiculously more expensive than lycra and PVC. And -- leather and latex both have their advantages and disadvantages -- there are some things you can create out of latex you would never be able to mimic in leather or PVC, but for durability and repairability, leather wins gloves down.

So what's the point of all this? Times are a-changin'. Latex and lycra are much more visible at events that used to be traditionally almost exclusively leather parties. In addition to sheer numbers -- the huge increase in availability of materials for the more recent fetishes and the number of people jumping on board, I think the 'old guard' is realizing that in order to perpetuate the fetish scene a larger circle of acceptance needs to be achieved because the old way of doing things and how things were structured really doesn't apply anymore, especially with droves of young men that are discovering fetishism, kink and other kinksters in different ways at a much younger age. The unfortunate thing here, as the perpetual bane of existence goes (once again), is that these young men would be the most durable players (maybe not the most responsible, experimental or secure/confident) and generally be the most asthetically pleasing to see in leather and latex, however few of them have the money to amass a wardrobe of this stuff.

So here we are with a bunch of young studs in lycra, a range of really kinky middle-age players in leather and latex and most of the grand old guard in leather.

Fetishism is more visible and mainstream now than ever before. But there lies the problem. It is no longer subversive and perverted as it once was! A certain population of gay men are searching for the next subversion as part of their self and collective identity which they want to remain unique from mainstream, no doubt. As the homosexual collective identity becomes as mainstream and whitebread as everyone else, this is why, in my opinion, such scenes as fisting and other edgeplay has become so popular in the past five years.

I have no doubt that public displays of fetishism will never wane - I'm one of most ardent public rubber wearers I know, at least in this backwater - hell, it's even something I crave once in awhile. It is all that idea of attention because I am so different that is a large part of the attraction to public latex-wearing. But as our fetishes become mainstream, it unfortunately means they lose something of their uniqueness, subversiveness and pervertedness - which is why fetishisms develop in part in the first place!

So there you go - my analysis of the changing of the guard - old school to new school. It is up to the old guard to show the younger generations the spectrum of possibilities out there by creating new ways to communicate this to them. One step in this is to open up previously exclusive play parties to other fetish groups.

The good thing is that fetishism seems to attract experimental and creative souls from its very definition, and I think this acceptance of the need to approach things in a different way has done the expansion of fetishism a great service. The bad thing is that maybe this has been too successful. Now that people are more accepting of a fetish lifestyle due to media coverage of it, it is coming into the pop culture limelight more and more, which essentially takes something away from what fetishism basically is - on the fringes of society, sexual freedom in atypical fashion through subversive expression.

What do you think? I'd love to hear some more perspectives. Read what GuyN2Gear has to say about the subject.

A Rubberman's Worst Nightmare

Latex - its best qualities are also its worst. On New Year's Day I decided to lube up and squirm into the STR catsuit for an extended wearing session, one more time before the post-holiday work week started. Things were going fine until about two hours in. I was bending over slightly while standing and all of a sudden - snap! - a rush of cold air on my ass and I knew immediately what had happened. The latex broke along the vertical seam just above the rear zipper seam, ran laterally along the zipper and then fanned out across my left ass cheek. I was so sad. I've had this suit barely over a month and it has quickly become my favorite - due to its incomparable fit and resulting comfort. I emailed STR yesterday with pictures, and they are going to do a repair on it -- I have to get it packaged and sent off ASAP.

I had really hoped to have this catsuit for the Mr. Leather Calgary IML Fundraiser on January 26th, but the chances of that are next to nil. I'm not really sure what happened. I think it's just another unfortunate situation - lube collecting in certain areas and moving out of others, leaving more friction in its wake than a slick surface to distribute the tension on. I thought it was a strange place for the initial tear to start -- I would've expected the inner crotch or lower butt to go first as it has on some of my moulded goods in the past since that seems to be the worst place for strain on the latex.

I honestly wasn't doing anything active -- I would've felt worse since it would have been my fault. I think it was an unfortunate mix of friction, tension and possibly a weak spot in the latex sheet that was used to make the suit.

Anyways, I know STR will do a fantastic job repairing and strengthening things. Hopefully I'll have it back in time for some parties in February. In the meantime, I have a lot more latex to bide my time in....I'm almost thinking of getting some rubber sheets in order to have a friction-free playing surface.....I don't think they come cheap though!

As I mature in my fetish and learn more about how to extend the life of my latex I find better ways to handle, care, and play in it as well as purchase better latex products and care products. It's all in the evolution, I guess. Latex breaks occasionally - it's an unfortunate consequence of enjoying such a pliable and resilient yet fragile material. If the maintenance, costs, and psychological trauma of a tear are all too much to handle for you, you should probably get into lycra or leather instead! :-)

On top of all this, we've had yet another apparent hard disk crash on the home computer in the past few days. Luckily I've been backing stuff up in earnest with the most recent backup occurring over the holidays, but unfortunately I will have to wait another week until back online at home. Our tech guy that does house calls isn't back from vacation until next week so for the time being, I'm writing these posts from my work computer.

Splinter Cell

Here is a short vid (with shitty lighting, again) of different angles and reflections of my rubberscout outfit get-up. Sam Fisher, eat your heart out! ;-)

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I can't wait to start taking the adventures outdoors -- when the temperature moves up a few degrees....

Rubber Crunches

I finally got another video up on Guyzingear. This was taken the other night as I squirmed, stretched and posed in my tightest rubber gear and then inevitably blew a load!

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New Year, New Possibilities

At this time of year I think everyone goes into a bit of introspection -- what was accomplished in the year we've left behind and what can be expected in the year ahead. Despite being a year of highs and lows, 2007 certainly was the year I can look back on that I 'came out' as a true passionate rubberman. My wardrobe grew exponentially, I got to have some great new experiences as a public rubber figure, and I learned a lot about myself as a person, fetishist, and rubberman from my ponderings as well as input from other influential people in my life. I can only hope that 2008 will bring even more adventure and education as I learn more about the possibilities that my 'gummiphilic' lifestyle could take me to.






All the best in 2008, everyone!

Squirming

Here are a couple of vids from BobMer wriggling inside a latex 'bodycondom' - simple, yet interesting. It's always a great visual treat to get a video from him!

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